Stop screwing with my head
by PyscoPlot
Summary: the groups going on a picnic but its raining and john wont tell the truth. Dave's getting desperate. trigger warning for future self harm and anxiety issues. rated t for language and cause paranoia. only my second story so reviews are appreciated.
1. Gives you hell

_TG: yo egbert._

_TG: where's this deal at?_

_EB: oh, hey dave. It's at the park. but we may end up at roses._

_TG: dude it's raining. And wet. And cold as fuck. _

_EB: the rain should stop by 12_

_EB: were you walking?_

_TG: jesus egderp, walking in the rain? fuck that shit i'm taking the train_

_EB: okay then_

_EB: bring a spare set of clothes_

_TG: why?_

_EB: the parks muddy_

_TG: oh joy I'll bring my swimmers, may as well go for a paddle down mud lane._

_EB: so you're bringing extra clothes?_

_TG: I think I'll take my chances_

_Turntechgodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist 8:17am_

John fucking Egbert. He couldn't make up his mind where this gathering was meant to happen. Since waking up at 8 to just now, he'd changed his mind three times. At this point you assume he's just dicking around pulling some stupid prank.

Your name is Dave Strider and you don't know why this bothers you so much.

You figure you better get ready anyway and go to take a shower, blasting some sick jams from the dock on the counter. Bro shouts at you to 'keep it down in there' so you turn it up and you assume that he goes back to sleep. The water temperature is just shy off of liquid hell and your hair is soaked in seconds.

"Shit" You rub your left wrist, why does this bother you so much? Even though you finished your hygienic care you just stand there, letting the water beat down on you back.

"Jesus Dave. You're 17. Get a hold of yourself, egderp probably thinks this shit is funny." Releasing your wrist, you step out of the shower and wrap a towel around your waist. You consider leaving the beats on for ironic purposes but your phone flashes, someone's trying to get hold of you. You return to your room before checking.

_EctoBiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 9:42_

_EB: dave_

_EB: dave guess what_

_EB: hey dave_

_EB: guess_

_TG: what?_

_EB: its stopped raining_

_TG: and?_

_EB: we're going to the park hehe_

_EB: but its muddy so bring clothes._

_TG: why are we going there then?_

_EB: ummm because it stopped raining_

_TG: seriously, that's your reasoning? Oh hey lets go chill in the muddy, wet and freaking cold park?_

_EB: yeah that's pretty much it_

_TG: fucking brilliant. Whatever I'll be at the station at 12_

_EB: ok then_

_EB: I warned you about the clothes though_

_ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 10:02_

You should put clothes on, at least your shades are on already. You've been naked for a while, thank god your curtains a shut. Though you're positive that flighty broad across the road wouldn't mind the view. Actually you have half a mind to charge her per ogle, maybe you could convince her to pay you in apple juice. It seems to disappear in your house, no idea where it goes. You mutter under your breath a bit as you decide what to wear, eventually going for tight black jeans, a white button up shirt and heavy black lace up boots. You tie an overly large red and black sweater around your waist. Your eyes linger on a rubber band sitting by the edge of your desk and you reach for it, before pulling back and grabbing a black leather case that holds your piercings.

Today you're wearing your black ring snake bites, and black spikes in your lobe piercings. As well as one silver ring on your left eyebrow, not that you can really see it past your shades but hey man, it's there. Besides, you don't think Egbert has seen you with all your piercings in.

You stroll around the apartment, thinking about having toast before checking the clock. 10:30. Hey, seems like you're made of time today.

**A/N**

**So this chapter isn't as long as I wanted it to be but I can't complain, graduating with good grades has to come first I suppose. Blegh. But anyway, I've seen so many fics where John is the unstable or hurting one, save a very impressive story I read yesterday. So I decided to shake things up with dave. This isn't gonna be super long and I will eventually get back to my other story, but for now reviews on this one would be great, this is only my second fic after all.**


	2. Method in my madness

**A/N**

**A quick note, the first line of each chapter from here on out will be the last line of the previous chapter and will be followed by = to signify the beginning of the new chapter.**

**When characters names are in all caps like this DAVE and following sentences are in italics, they are texting. Pesterchum is pretty straightforward.**

**Homestuck and its characters belong to Andrew Hussie.**

**(TW mentions of self harm)**

**Start: **

Hey, seems like you're made of time today.

You've been dicking around for the past half hour; you aren't too sure what you have been doing either. The clock beside your bed now shows 11:00, and you're fed up with waiting.

_ectoBiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 11:03_

_EB: hey dave_

_EB: the path I normally take to the parks been blocked off_

_EB: so my dad's gonna drive us_

_EB: dave?_

_EB: daaveeeeee?_

Dave, stop. What are you doing dave? Stop screwing around and answer your best bro. hiding behind your pillows isn't going to do anything. "Ugh, fine" you mutter. Man the little voice in your head is demanding. You push the mound of pillows off you and sit at your computer desk.

_TG: dadberts taking me and you then?_

_EB: . . . _

_EB: yep, me and you dave_

_ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 11:14_

Dave, be the other guy. But you don't want to be the other guy, the other guys lame. Just be the other guy Dave.

Fine, you are now the other guy.

Right now you're shaking with laughter, sitting in front of your computer screen, where you just hurriedly logged off of pesterchum. Damn that was close you almost slipped up and told Dave a crucial detail of your plan. And good pranksters never let the secret details slip out.

John, you're being a dick, stop now. But it's so much fun to prank Dave, besides you're almost positive that he'll find it funny. Eventually.

Ok then master prankster. Whatever you say.

Your overhead clock is telling you that it's now 11:36 and your doorbell rings. That'll be Jade, you think, she's here early but she always is, something to do with being very over excitable, just like a puppy. You can hear you dad get the door and you think that's probably for the best since you're still in a towel from your shower earlier. Besides, Jade doesn't approve of you pranking Dave she seems to think he can't handle it. Put some clothes on John, you have guests to entertain.

Since you're busy with guests, be the master of irony known as Dave Strider.

You've thrown a small leather backpack over one shoulder, with your wallet and phone inside of it. Well, your phone would be inside it, but you've just gotten it out to text egderp and let him know you are at the train station.

_DAVE: Egbert_

_JOHN: yeah?_

_DAVE: im at the train station_

_JOHN: wow already?_

_JOHN: you're really early_

_DAVE: not even dude, look at the time. Its 12_

_JOHN: oh it is too_

_JOHN: well karkat missed his train so we have to wait for hi. Dads gonna drive him as well_

_JOHN: do you want to walk to my house_

_DAVE: fuck no, it's raining again. I'll wait here_

_JOHN: ok then_

Wow Dave, way to sulk. You go and sit on the concrete steps and pull your headphones on. You've been sitting there for ten minutes when you get a message from Rose and you start guiltily. Yeah you forgot you had a sister for a second. Her contact name flashes up, simply reading "voldemort", it's kind of a running joke between the two of you, since you changed your name to "the chosen one" in her phone.

_VOLDEMORT: David_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: sup_

_VOLDEMORT: John tells me you are sulking_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: Fuck John_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: I'm not sulking. I'm listening to sick beats and methodically throwing rocks at a goofy ass bird_

_VOLDEMORT: That's not why you're sitting at a train station David_

_VOLDEMORT: And you know it. Stop taking your feelings out on a bird, I can tell your upset._

_THE CHOSEN ONE: you are not doing this._

_THE CHOSEN ONE: no way are you turning me into one of your little test subjects_

_VOLDEMORT: I'm trying to be a concerned sister here, let me help you._

_VOLDEMORT: I know what you do when you get upset_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: you know what you could do to help. Tell me where the fuck this thing is at, without the bullshit_

_VOLDEMORT: oh that's simple. It's at my house_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: finally, a straight answer_

_VOLDEMORT: you didn't bring any did you?_

_THE CHOSEN ONE: I don't know what you're talking about_

_VOLDEMORT: don't avoid the question, David. You know I don't have any here._

Oh shit. You forgot about that, Rose personally scoured her house to remove any and all rubber bands the minute she first found out. You don't know why it's so important it's not like it scars or anything. Well not much anyway, you inspect your wrist. Tilting it this way and that to determine how obvious the bruised lines on the inside of your wrist are. Yeah ok, people can tell that it wasn't caused by you banging your wrist on anything, the lines are too perfect. But that's why you brought the jumper, you figure if Rose goes nuts you can just put it on.

You've been sitting at this train station for an hour now and you finally see a mop of dark hair picking its way towards you. Karkat appears to be as short an angry as when you last saw him, which admittedly was last week, seeing as you go to the same school. He just nods at you and you find it odd, normally, he'd pull some huge rant out of nowhere to throw at you. Apparently he has something on his mind today. Karkat walks straight past you and heads down the stairs, you fall into place behind him and follow him out onto the street and down to where John's car is already waiting. Jade's in the backseat whilst John sits shotgun, damn he looks good today. Wait, you can't think that, you're furious with him. Remember that Dave, don't forget he's being a douche.

The back seat is a little messed up and john gets out in order to help push the seat into place, his shoulder brushes yours as he leans into the car and you step back quickly. You try to play it off, but he noticed and by the smirk on his face you know you just gave him something else to play with.

Karkat takes the middle seat next to Jade so you have to sit behind John, who still hasn't returned to his seat. Instead he has his chin resting on the edge of the open door watching you, you keep your eyes on him as you sit down but you continue to keep you face neutral. He's grinning now, Jesus, you want to melt into a puddle or better yet go home and forget the whole thing. You turn your face away from him.

"Little Princess" He says, laughter choking his voice, and he bows and shuts your door before getting in the front seat. Karkat hasn't looked up from his phone but Jade is watching John with narrowed eyes.

Dave, be a child.

You opt for revenge the good old fashioned way and kick the back of John's seat. He reaches behind with one hand and grabs your knee, forcing it to stay still before turning and blowing you a kiss with his free hand. He hasn't let go of your leg yet, and you don't think he will.

You've been in his presence for five minutes and your cheeks are already hot with embarrassment.

**A/N**

**Ahh im sorry this chapter took a long time to do but school got pretty hectic.. **

**I'm making John be mean, and I can't help it, like John would normally be really nice but today he's being a dick.**

**Chapter name comes from the song King by Lauren Aquilina **


	3. Dance Fucker Dance

You've been in his presence for five minutes and your cheeks are already hot with embarrassment.

/

Jade has been talking Johns ear off for most of the car trip, and it seems like she's picking all his favourite topics to try and get him really enthusiastic. You think it's because she's trying to get him to use his hands so he'll let go, but Egbert's already figured out what she's up too, so instead you just stare out the window trying to ignore them.

"Oh shit, sorry dad, that's it there" the car pulls up outside Roses house, and everyone evacuates the vehicle. John beats you to the door right as Kanaya pulls it open, and he promptly burst into laughter. Your cheeks are burning as you push past into the house, trying to ignore the douche, however nice a laugh it is. When its directed at you it just feels like razor blades slicing at your skin. You've managed to get a corner seat where you can watch Rose bustle about in the kitchen without her seeing you, but of course everyone else just has to come in now.

"Dave!" Rose pulls you over for a quick hug, while surreptitiously checking your wrists for bands. The others don't know and you'd prefer to keep it that way and she understands. Out of the corner of your eye you see john flinch a little, but you don't think anything of it.

"Hey Rose, since this place is new, you should take us on a tour!" John has everyone's attention now and jade and Karkat are nodding in agreement. Karkat still hasn't said a word and you're starting to think something's really wrong with him, especially since he keeps rubbing his jaw. Now he's clicking, what's he doing that for? Oh, he wants your attention, at the moment he's wedged between john and the wall so he passes his phone over the table to you.

"How on earth did you dislocate your jaw Karkat?" Well this is new; at least it explains his silence.

Karkat's tapping stuff into his phone and passing it over to you again.

_I may have been yelling._

_And my jaw may have created a loud noise._

_And I may not be able to speak now._

You know, you actually aren't that surprised to hear that. Ahem, Dave. A conversation has been going on that you're meant to be listening too. Rose is trooping everyone out to the front door again, so you can only assume she has given in to the tour idea. You think you'll pass, since you crash here often enough; instead you grab an apple juice out of the fridge and stand behind the counter so you're out of the way.

The groups making their way past and you can't help but stare at john as he goes by, and the way he drags his fingers across your hand is his way of letting you know that he knows exactly what you are doing.

"Ugh, it's all wet out there." Rose is back, having cut the trip short; saying that in no way is seeing the pool worth walking through the rain.

"Tends to happen when it rains"

"Oh har har Dave, you're a right comedian." She pokes your side as she goes past. "Lunch is ready. So either you're hungry or you eat anyway"

Suddenly you don't feel so hungry, nor do you think you could actually eat. Your throat is all tight and your eyes are stinging. You turn your back so you can slip your sunglasses off in order to rub them. Get it together Strider, you can do it. No you can't do it.

You abscond outside to the rain.

**A/N**

**Yay have a filler. That's incredibly short. Sorry.**

**Ok this was actually probably kinda inevitable. Oh the means of getting from one point to another.**

**John you little shit.**

**Chapter name is Dance Fucker Dance, probably due to the fact that I was listening to the song Gonna Go Far on loop whilst writing this.**


	4. sloppy pool makeouts

Previously

You abscond outside to the rain.

No one sees you go, not even Rose she's too busy serving out pizza to everyone. You stand around the side of the house behind several plants so you can't be seen, your hands are shaking and the rain has dropped back so it's just drizzling now. Everything inside you is twisting, building up and your breathing gets faster and faster. You start pacing with your right hand clenched around the opposite wrist, wet tracks run down your face and you don't know if it's the rain or if they're tears. You drop to your knees on the cement, hands clutching your stomach with your forehead pressed onto the wet ground, barely breathing and you just stay there. The churning has been replaced with and empty, cavernous feeling that just keeps growing whilst you watch tears hit the ground an inch from your eyes. The water on the ground has soaked through your jeans and you're really cold now, some sane part of you reaches for your jumper only to clutch at empty air. You left it inside. You stay on the ground for another few minutes debating whether or not to go inside before giving in to the cold.

John notices you first, he's had his eye on the door since you left, but he doesn't say anything and nor do you. The others have seen you now and their smiles fade as they watch you grab your sweater before going back outside. Something bubbles up in your throat, and you collapse on the ground again, whimpering slightly though you refuse to believe that it's coming from you.

You feel awful. The minute you saw those tear stained cheeks you knew you stuffed up, the prank went too far. You didn't want to believe Jade when she told you Dave wasn't as strong as you thought but now you wish you did. Rose moves to follow him but you stop her and go yourself, shocked that you were such an idiot.

You find him in a ball on the ground muttering to himself, "oh god oh god oh god oh god".

"Dave?" You say, tentatively. The muttering stops, choking itself off. "Dave, can you look at me?"

He shakes his head, staring determinedly at the ground and blinking in the attempt to clear the tears from his eyelashes. That's when you realise he isn't wearing his shades, that they've been discarded by the staircase. You try again.

"Dave I'm sorry. I thought it would be funny. I should have listened to jade, she told me not too, that it was going too far and that even you would be upset by it. I didn't want to listen to her; I wanted to prove that you could handle it. God Dave, I'm so sorry" You want to say more, to make a better apology come out, but your voice catches in your throat and it won't come.

"Just leave me alone" Dave's voice is shaking, hurt oozing out of him. He starts out quiet but he's screaming at you now. Yelling at you to leave him alone, demanding an answer from you before devolving into incoherent screams. You try to pull him up gently but he hits at you, fighting against you.

You know it's only a matter of time before he wins, Johns stronger than you after all, but you keep hitting him and trying to push him away. The screams echo in your ears and the only way you know they are yours is because you can feel them tearing out of your throat. Why won't they stop? Why can't you stop? Aren't you strong enough?

"Dave" He sounds shocked and you realise you've said it out loud. The screams have changed to a constant barrage of "I'm not strong enough" and there's still nothing you can do to stop it. Belatedly, you realise that it's raining again.

His screams echo in your ears as you blindly gather him in your arms, locking them around him and pulling him into your lap. He quits fighting and latches his arms around your neck, hiding his face in your chest. You press your lips to his hair and rock him as he whimpers, whispering that you're sorry over and over again. Finally he stops crying, though he still trembles now and then. You're both soaked through at this stage but you just keep rocking. He squirms a little and then you feel a sharp pain in your shoulder where he's bit you. You rear back before realising your arms are still around him and you take him with you as you fall backwards, head hitting the ground with a thud.

Your eyes shut on impact and when they open again you find a crimson pair hovering above you. Dave caught himself on all fours and is now over you in a very interesting way, though the look in his eyes promises death or some form of violence. His face is red and puffy and he has his teeth bared in a snarl.

"You absolute bastard" He grinds out, before grimacing at the pain in his throat.

You notice his arms trembling before they collapse and he lands on you, jerking his head back at the last minute to stop your lips from touching. Dave starts laughing, he doesn't seem to have a reason, and you just think he's so emotionally drained that he can't help it. God it's good to hear him laugh after this.

He tries to muffle his laughter in your neck but fails miserably when you tickle him. Rose comes out at the noise and sees the two of you tangled together in a pile of limbs and smirks. You clear your throat uncomfortably and Dave turns to look, turning bright red and quickly hiding his face in your neck again as a fresh wave of giggles assail him.

You spot the pool over his shoulder and drag him up onto his feet, pulling him with you as you go to it. The two of you stand looking out at the pool when you feel a shove in the small of you back. You hear a peal of laughter just before you go under the water's surface and come back up spluttering to see Dave bent double and shaking with laughter.

Pushing John into the pool was a small revenge and you don't know why you find it so funny as he comes back up for air. John cocks an eyebrow and grimaces at you, waiting for your laughter to subside.

"Well, I guess I deserved that" He muttered, he was tall enough that the water only reached up to his shoulders with him standing flat footed. He offers his hand to you, "Help me out?"

You take it failing to see the odd gleam in his eyes, and you're still laughing when he jerks you into the pool with him. You make a noise as he catches you before you go under; he has you in princess hold and hasn't put you down yet. You squirm a little in his arms in the effort to make him drop you, but stop on the realization your head would go under and give you a mouthful of water. All the while John just watches you with an amused air, completely silent. Well until he presses his lips to yours anyway. A thrill runs down your spine and sizzles your skin. You taste chlorine on his lips and wrap your arms around him, tangling your fingers in his hair. John taps against your teeth with his tongue and you allow him entry as he drops your legs and hooks his arm around your back, pulling you into him, almost desperately.

You let your tongue explore Dave's mouth, hearing him sigh into the kiss, the metal of his piercings hot against your skin. You push him back up against the pool wall to get more purchase, caging him in. You break for air and press your forehead to his, looking into the crimson of his eyes.

"Do you even know how long I've wanted to do that?" You ask, lacing your fingers with his under the water, and gently run your thumb across his palm. You're pressed up against him so you feel the shudder that runs through him as you grind your hips against his.

"You're no fair John" He whimpers, then blushes. He drags you back down for another kiss and you feel him lace his hands in your hair again. You place your hands on his waist, pushing the shirt up a little so you're touching bare skin. You only mean to trace over his hip bones but you find yourself running your hands up his waist and playing over his ribs. Dave growls low in his throat and fights to dominate the kiss, pushing his tongue in your mouth and presses his lips hard against yours. Your hands have swung around to hook behind his shoulders and you rake your nails across his shoulder blades, causing him to gasp and break from the kiss.

John grinds his hips against yours again and places a trail of kisses along your jaw and down your neck, before biting into the hot skin. You're embarrassed to say you moaned at that. He chuckles slightly before lifting you up onto the pool wall, then continues tracing his mouth down along your collarbone and runs his fingers under your shirt. He reaches the first button of your shirt and looks up at you, eyes quizzical. You tug at his fingers to tell him to go ahead but god does he take his sweet time, slowly undoing each button before pausing for a few seconds. Growling impatiently, you rip the shirt the rest of the way off and figure you'll deal with it later. John just looks amused, before going back to placing a line of kisses from collarbone to naval. You hook your fingers in his shirt, tugging at it, trying to convince the fabric to stop sticking to his skin. You can feel his laughter reverberating against your skin as you do battle with the object of your ire, but you finally get it off him, baring the smooth white expanse of his skin. Save a perfect imprint of your own teeth from earlier, you laugh breathlessly.

"We match now" You point at the bite mark on your own shoulder and then at his. John just laughs and pulls you into another kiss, and you hitch your legs around his waist. He backs off from the wall, leaving him as the only thing keeping you up. You can feel his hands on your face and your own hands running across his skin. The water slows movement between the two of you, but it doesn't stop your breath hitching when he drags you up higher against his skin, deepening the kiss. You think it's probably time to move this somewhere else and John seems to have the same idea, carrying you back to the wall and climbing out after you. You find yourself with your back to the ground and John over you.

"Hell no, that is not gonna fly" Your gasping ruins the effect somewhat, but you still manage to flip him over so you're on top. This also means you're now sitting on him and he comes up to meet your mouth, one of his hands still flat on the ground to support his weight. You buck your hips against him, and again a second time when he gasps.

You fall back and buck your hips up under him in retaliation, watching him splutter a bit before he comes after your lips with a vengeance. Just as he goes to slide one hand beneath the waistband of your pants a bucket of water is dropped over your heads. Someone clears their throat and you find yourself looking up at an amused Rose.

"I think you two need to cool off" Rose tries to keep her amusement under wraps and glares pointedly at Dave, who backs off sheepishly. She takes in the various bite marks and fresh hickeys Dave sports and turns to give you an amused look, wordlessly patting Dave's shoulder and sending him bright red. Your ears ring with embarrassment as she says something about spare clothes and helps you to your feet, Dave looks fairly mortified as well. You both silently follow her into the house and past an amused Jade and Kanaya, it's impossible to tell what Karkat's thinking with that bag of peas covering half his face. You come to a room where by the looks of the clothes scattered about is generally where Dave crashes, and Rose leaves.

Dave promptly proves your point by beginning to search through various stacks of clothing in the corner and throwing random articles at you, still stewing over his embarrassment. You figure that you'll let him be for now, since you're just as embarrassed.

"I'm gonna take a shower, you can use mine and I'll borrow Roses" He won't meet your eye and awkwardly throws a towel in you general direction. "It's just through there"

You nod and watch him escape outside, before going in to the bathroom, taking your clothes with you.

How could you let your sister catch you in a position like that? But the more you think about that, the more you think about John and how you made out and damn near had sex if not for Rose coming out. Moreover, how were you going to cover up? You'd caught a glance of yourself in the mirror as you went past and had been marvelling at the various purplish marks flowering on your skin, not even counting the teeth marks. You come to the conclusion that you didn't mark John enough, but god, you hadn't thought he was leaving hickeys. You don't think you could've stopped him anyway, hell; you didn't want him to stop. You touch a finger to your swollen lips and decide you've stewed enough, so you shut the water off. And then of course you realise you didn't bring any clothes and all you have is a towel. You vaguely entertain the idea of staying in here and letting Rose get clothes for you before biting the bullet and heading out. You hope that he's already left the room, but of course he hasn't. Instead he's standing looking at the pictures Rose put up over your walls. You still remember the day she pulled out the stacks of your photos she'd had developed as a surprise for you and pinned them to the walls.

For a second you simply watch him, but when he extends his hand to you, you cross over and join him, linking your hands together and just forgetting anything else.

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Jesus Christ this took a long time to come out, like four months. **

**And the whole kissing scene got a lot more detailed than it was going to be. Whoops**

**I have some ideas for the next chapter but I'm not sure when it'll come up.**

**Hmm chapter title name? all that keeps going through my head is sloppy pool make out so there we go brilliant**

**Ok, bye bye little duckies**


	5. Galleries

_For a second you simply watch him, but when he extends his hand to you, you cross over and join him, linking your hands together and just forgetting anything else._

"Look at us all Dave, we were all so young." You watch as Johns eyes flick between photos, a small smile gracing his face. You progress along the wall watching the children in the photos get bigger, and smile less. Johns smile drops ever so slightly as you drop from all the photos, not that you were in many to start off with, you were the photographer after all. But sometimes others would take the photo for you and you'd jump at the chance, but as you got older you started denying any and all offers. You'd taken to using your camera as a way to keep control and you didn't want to relinquish that to anyone.

"You aren't in any Dave." It wasn't a question; it didn't even need an answer. He just sounded sad and tired. He wouldn't look at you, just kept walking and studying the images papering your wall, hell, there are so many that you can't even see the wall behind them. Every single one is in age order, dated, from left to right with the oldest at the very left edge by the door and the most recent spilling across the corner and coming to a rest above the head of your bed. It must of taken Rose hours to sort them all and stick them up, too much effort for someone who didn't even live here full time. It was a recent installment she'd done; trying to make you happy, but you'd known she was frustrated at your lack of visibility in any recent photos.

John stops moving at an out of focus image, the only one of its kind on the wall because it was the only one Rose had allowed. The three of them were in the photo like usual, with the addition of Kanaya. All of them are laughing, the girls seated on the ground and John half standing hands wrapped around yours, trying to drag you into the image. You'd clicked the shutter button accidently and the end result had been with your arm reaching in from behind the photos perspective. You were going to toss the photo when you first saw it, but you knew the reason it was up was because you at least had some semblance of belonging and it would make Rose sad to take it down.

"I remember this day; it was the day I first knew I wanted to kiss you. You wouldn't put that damn camera down the whole day though, and you didn't speak at all. Why wouldn't you speak Dave?" He's watching you now, those beautiful blue eyes pleading with you, he had hold of both hands now. You don't answer him, you can't answer him, and so you just look away. You sense him when he drops his head; feel his thumbs stroke over your wrists.

"Dave" His voice is different somehow laced with what you think is disbelief. "Dave, look at me Dave"

So you do, but he isn't looking at you, his eyes are on your wrists, no, not your wrists, the lines, the bruises. His face is furrowed in a frown and his voice drops to a whisper. "Did you do this Dave?"

You nod then realise he can't see you. "Yes" You manage to force it out, though it sticks and leaves a sickly taste in your mouth, like the oversweet taste of rotten meat.

"Why Dave? What happened that made you do this, I thought you were fine, we all did. I didn't think you'd do something like this, you always seemed so impassive and strong." John spun suddenly, dropping your hands like lumps of burning embers, and glares at the pictures on the wall. Understanding flashes across his face and he walks backwards and collapses on the bed. "That's why you aren't in any photos, isn't it? You were distancing yourself; you were leaving us behind, weren't you? Weren't you! Here I was thinking I could stop you leaving us but you'd already left! "The panic in his voice does nothing to calm your own anxiety; you didn't want him to find out like this. Hell you didn't want him to find out at all. You watch as tears fall down his face with your fingers itching to comfort him but you can't, so instead you turn your back and retreat to the bathroom, random clothes in hand. You can hear him out there, sobbing, but eventually it stops. He shifts around the room a bit before knocking on the door between the two of you, and you back away as far as you are able before your back hits the sink.

You go for the handle, hands shaking, half expecting it to be locked but it gives easily and the door swings open. He's just standing there against the sink but he won't meet your gaze, red eyes fixed on some point far away.

"How long?" You keep your voice low, calm almost.

"Don't ask a question you don't want an answer to"

"How long Dave?"

"A while."

And suddenly he's looking at you, gauging your response, waiting to see what you'll do. You stumble forward blindly and bury your face in his neck, wrapping your arms around him. He stays frozen for a few seconds, before relaxing in your arms.

"You'll let me help you Dave? Promise me you'll let me help."

He pulls back to study your face, fingers fiddling with the collar of your shirt, well, his shirt but it's on you so therefore you claim it.

"I promise. "He smiles softly and presses his lips to your forehead.

It's been months since then. You spend more time at Rose's house now than you do at your own. Sometimes she surprises you with a freshly developed stack of your photos and the two of you sit together for hours sorting them and putting them up. More often than not you're in the images, but there are still a few you aren't, simply because you enjoy taking pictures of the lot of them.

Sometimes she doesn't have photos for you though and instead you'll fill the air with inane chatter whilst she cooks or writes, or you'll sit reading together, enjoying each other's company. There's a photo that John took that Rose adored, and at the last minute decided you couldn't put it on the wall, keeping it instead for her, now the framed photo sits on her bedside table, amongst others of her and Kanaya. In it the two of you are side by side, Rose holding a book and you with your head resting on her shoulder, reading along with her. Your wrist is beared to the camera and shows no trace of any bruises, and you're smiling. You think that's what Rose loves most about the photo, that you're happy. John asked if he could have a copy for his house, but Rose wont relinquish the file to him, it's been the ongoing debate for the past few weeks now, he doesn't even greet her anymore, just asks for the photo and every time she feigns ignorance at his question and pulls him into a hug. One of the nights you stayed over not long after the debate began you asked her why she wouldn't let him have it. And she'd responded with the fact that he could get his own because she wasn't sharing, even if john is your boyfriend.

One day the walls of your room were completely papered in photos. The next day when you returned Kanaya snuck a blindfold over your face before you even got two steps through the door, and she giggled like crazy. When she let you go you saw everyone there, John, Jade, Karkat, Terezi, Rose, Aradia, even Sollux, though you think he was just there because she was. They were all beaming and laughing, giddy with excitement as you turned to look at your room.

The photo wall had spilled out of your room and covered the entire side of the hallway. And as they rushed in to hug you, you saw a quote hung over your door, written in Roses calligraphy, _Life is full of promise, so stay with us now and forever. _Stuck below it was the photo she had hoarded so jealously.

**AN **

**So this is officially the end?! **

**I had originally envisioned this to be longer but I changed my mind. I'll admit that I typed the past few chapters during frees at school**

**I'm kinda sad that it's over, because this will be the first I've finished in a long time. **

**My tumblr is pyrofirebug **

**And you can expect drawings to come from this**

**Xxxx**


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